If I go to sleep then it will be tomorrow....

Did you ever think this when you were a kid? Like at the end of Christmas Day....when you wanted Christmas to never end? So you tried with all your might not go to sleep. Or was that just me? Well if you were/are anything like me then you can relate to what I am saying. Today is officially my last day of maternity leave. If I go to sleep, I will have to wake up tomorrow, go to work and leave my baby. Now I know I should be grateful for the job that has worked out quite nicely in terms of not having to be away from Zechariah for very long, and I am. This first week I have to work days so that they can orient me to the place, so it's really a one time thing, me having to get up in the morning and leave him. But regardless, I still have to do it for a week. And that hurts. More then I ever could have imagined.

I decided to be all dramatic today so I stayed home from church. I did not want to do anything today then just be with Zech. I figured God would understand. I even stayed off the computer till now and did not talk on the phone once. Zech and I took our morning walk up to the coffee shop we like (ok well I like the coffee and he just likes the long ride in the stroller), we played, went to Target (because he and I have been frequenting Target at least weekly since he was like 2 weeks old so it's "our thing"), and we even took a little nap together. It was a good day. I know there will be other days...I mean I have weekends and there will be holidays off with him. Plus spending the day with him before work begins in the evening. But there's something about it being the last day of maternity leave that makes my heart ache....I guess it's knowing he's growing so fast. That my "time" with him is limited in every capacity imaginable. Someday I will be writing about him going off to college or getting married and I will have wondered where it all went.

*Sigh*

I'll leave you with this. Zechy usually sleeps the last leg of our walk. Here my angel had just woken up upon returning home. This pic was taken from my perspective looking down into the stroller literally moments after he opened his eyes.



Zech, I have enjoyed every moment of the last 5 months and 5 days. I will miss our walk tomorrow but there will be more. Soon. I promise.

And so, I am off to bed.....

It will be tomorrow now :(.