Things I've learned....

When 2010 began I thought, "oh good a new year...a new beginning." I prayed at least weekly for the other proverbial shoe not to drop (those were my words exactly)...it's like I live life walking around, holding my breath in a sense. All year I've lived with this feeling of impending doom. Back in August I had a person walk in my door at work, whom I never met before and read me...yes as in a psychic reading. I did not ask for this mind you...but one thing she said remains with me. She said "you are always waiting for something bad to happen... for the other shoe to drop. Do not worry, nothing bad is going to happen. Nothing major will affect you good or bad this year."

I didn't take comfort in her little "reading" because quite frankly she kinda violated me by "reading" me w/o permission but also....I felt like she was lying to me.

2 weeks later my husband lost his job and we experienced one of the biggest betrayals of our lives....from a place that has the audacity to call itself a "church".

So how are these events related? Well they very well could not be. I mean I guess you could say her psychic reading came true if she was an "opposites psychic" lol! But part of me feels like this was some kind of test...a test to see if I would start relying on these kinds of things to bring me comfort or reassurance rather then relying on God. And then the job loss happened and it just really turned our world upside down. That very much was a test of faith. It would have been sooo easy to just say "church sucks, people suck, I'm never going again!" and stomp my feet and cross my arms. Which ok...I did that a little bit. But I also realized that once again the only feeling of comfort we can have in this life is to lean into Him. Not to necessarily believe in psychic readings, or charismatic pastors, or people who present as your friends when you have that little gut feeling inside that says...'there's just not something right here". For me that's God's voice. And I need to start listening to Him a LOT more often.

I am not psychic...but I do think I have a little gift. That feeling I've had all year, well I ignored a lot of warning signs about people in the spirit of giving the benefit of the doubt. Yea not anymore. I'm sure I won't be perfect at it...as I tend to give people 2nd...3rd...chances so it will be a hard habit to break and at the same time I am not saying I expect perfection out of people, Lord knows I'm not, but I will start relying more just on faith....blind faith...which that statement to some degree is an oxymoron...but that is what I just need to know. Stop holding your breath, trust your inside voice...and just take comfort that though you don't know the future.....you will be alright Norina.

I saw this quote and it really resonated in me:

‎"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence." ~George Washington

It's moments like these that matter.... not people like "them"...