I Used to be a Good Mother...Then In Actually Became One...

Ahhh the good ol' naive days...back when I had no children, I would see others "parenting" and secretly think all kinds of things..."my child would never..." , "when I have a kid I will..."...oh I was full of them. And now, I eat my humble pie...quietly hoping no one calls me out on "the good ol' naive days...

Perhaps I was softened by all we went through to have him? Or maybe it's just that a baby, YOUR baby, melts your heart to the point that it's just so easy to say "YES" to everything he wants...or demands? Here are a few things I just SWORE I would never do:

1. Baby in the bed...yup, here he is 15 months old and he STILL sleeps with us. Right in between us. I always thought parents who allowed this were weird and had hang ups. I swear we're normal. We're just normal people who found that baby sleeps much better in the bed then out of it. And when you are sleep deprived and have a long day ahead of you, you would probably give in too. When will he move out??? No one really knows. At this point it would feel weird to NOT have him there. I doubt he he'll be missing college dorm life because he has to sleep with us though...

2. Eating outside of his high chair. Yesterday morning, out of no where he wanted to eat his breakfast sitting on the kitchen counter. Ummm, ok, it doesn't hurt anything right?


3. Crying babies in the store use to annoy me a bit...now if I hear a crying baby I get sad...like really sad. I want the baby to be happy. I want the mother to stop ignoring her child (not that that's what she's doing but it feels like it) and comfort him/her....sometimes I want to go over and help! LOL! Oh man the old Norina would get as far away as she could back in the good ol'naive days...


4. Rocking him to sleep. I use to think you just put a baby down and tell it to go to sleep...riiight...I mean maybe some babies work this way but mine doesn't. And besides, I kinda like it. We have our own little routine. He knows the drill, I know the songs, and even at a whopping 24 lbs, I don't mind rocking my baby to sleep 3 times a day (2 naps and for bed).


5. Give him candy to distract him/keep him busy. I was adamant this would create a VERY bad habit. A spoiled child. A bratty kid. Yeah whatever, sometimes when your husband is sick and you need to listen to the nurse give you directions on how to administer an iv med properly, you give your kid some candy to keep him busy (and QUIET!)! And then that leaks over to, candy at the store so you can shop in peace, candy in the car so you can make a call on your cell phone, candy in line so you can talk to the bank teller...LOL ok, ok, maybe I have gone a little far with the candy. But it's all organic (Trader Joes has organic lollipops...they should pay me for the name drop!)! That counts for something right?

6. The Wiggles. Yes that's right the G*& D&^M Wiggles! Nathanael introduced him to these strange men this week and they have now run our lives. Zech loves them. I hate them. But guess what? I just accepted some dvd's from a friend who's children has outgrown them. All because I know he will love them. The old Norina would NEVER have let Wiggle paraphernalia into her home.

7. Toys over running the living room. It's contemporary chic right? At least my house use to be. Now it's plastic, primary color, art deco-ish.

8. Today Zech played in the kitchen sink for 30 min. Inside the sink. With the water running. Our water bill will be out of control if this keeps up. Usually Eco- conscious and non frivolous spending Norina (well not frivolous on things like utilities anyway...shoes that's another thing!) would have said NO to this baby request. But he was so happy...CA is in a drought already, losing a few more gallons of water really is no biggie...right? Right?



9. Going out of the house without proper clothing. Ok this use to be a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Parents out in public with their children w/o a shirt, w/o shoes, in "just" a onesie, or GASP in their pajamas. Yeah I've done all of these things. What? You try wrestling a Zechy to get clothes on him. If we are just running to the store, to the gas station, to Blockbuster, believe me, Zechy in his swim trunks and nothing else isn't such a sore sight in some parts of the Inland Empire!

10. And last but not least...drum roll please.....no seriously DRUM ROLLLLLLLL....

..........the ever taboo topic of breast feeding. Well before I had a baby I use to think breastfeeding was a strange concept. I know, I know, "that's what they were made for", "that's what God intended", "it's their purpose", "it's natural". I had a witty comeback for all those statements by the way but I'll spare you from the "old Norina"... because the old Norina didn't have 4 miscarriages yet...the old Norina didn't have a immune-compromised husband and spend weeks of her life at the side of a hospital bed, the old Norina grew up with parents who had...let's just use the term "hang ups" again..and planted those seeds in her brain :) ....but the new Norina, the non naive one...the one who has had to look illness and heartache and pain in the face...the one that has had to fight for most things that come easy to others...that one has found that nursing your 15 month old is the only option. And so I throw away MY "hang ups"...I continue to sacrifice sleep, body, and energy to ensure my baby has the best chance at life. And really it's not a sacrifice at all. Because I have seen sickness....very real scary kind of sickness. I also have the American Association of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization on my side, I mean I think I know a lot (I'm not a Dr in real life, I just play one on the Internet) but I can't know more then they do.....so I have decided that my baby will receive breast milk up to age 23 months.

GASP!

I heard it!...I hear you!...You all just gasped didn't you? Yes you heard/read me correctly...the Norina you know and loved who talked all kinds of shiznit about weird mothers who breastfed past 1, is doing it...nursing past a year!

And even though I have all of those very clear and legitimate reasons, I still cower as I write this. I am a hypocrite. I know. The biggest one to ever live. But for my Zechy, that's what I will be if it means a better life then his poor daddy has had in the health department.

Obviously I know there are no guarantees with health, and I also do not knock anyone who doesn't bf, who never has, who doesn't even want to try. This is just what's best for me and my family. It's the decision I need to make in order to sleep at night. Maybe it gives me my silly sense of "control"...maybe in 20 years the AAP and the WHO will come out and say "just kidding breastfeeding till 2 years old does nothing beneficial for you kid" whatever the case you can't blame me for being anything less then a hyper vigilant mama...I'll take that label. I've been called worse :).

There I am out of the closet...whew ....it feels good LOL!

And now, I am off to eat some more servings of that humble pie..perhaps if you are a back tracking, new and improved, hypocritical, hyper vigilant (and slightly neurotic) mama you'd like to join me too? :) There's plenty of servings to go around!